June 15, 2016 at 11:20 am #540415 Reply. Conservative: your both married. … Ignore, Ignore, Ignore, My ex had this, contact from an old gf from 20 years ago, i encouraged the contact as i thought there was nothing wrong with it. #3 They heard you … Or do you want to be friends till you can decide? Related Reading: 5 shocking rebound relationship stories you must read. Whether it was a two-week fling or a mutual breakup, or if it’s that ex who had ghosted you and has re-surfaced for closure, getting contacted by your ex years later will take some time to settle in. Three words: Manage your expectation. The same promble happen to me. They want to talk to you and get a reply out of you because they miss the conversation. I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that it’s a waste of time. Maybe you don't know the full extent of what he did behind your back, eitherway the guilt he's feeling compelled … 5 0. And if everything else fails, go with your gut feeling when an ex contacts you suddenly. The … We like each other but both understand it would never work. During an hour-long, tear-filled conversation, I asked him if he thought it was possible for him to have fallen in love … Your obligation towards your ex has ended and it is alright to think of yourself first. What if your ex got dumped and just wanted to feel wanted with you? His email said that he’d had some things on his mind. If it is not the case, below are reasons why she is contacting you several weeks or months after the two of you broke up. Be a positive person. Tell them that your ex is trying to reach you. She doesn’t know what is compelling her to contact you. Passion is born out of need, and our emotional … So just ignore. Youre doing your husband a terrible disservice by replying to this guy and if you were my wife, rather than understand, I would kick you out of the house to go live with your dear ex. However, if it’s frequent … The take home message for me is that, despite your ex acting like a robot after a breakup, you have no idea what's going on inside. You are finally at peace but his message has brought back those memories. Our relationship was intense but yet very uneven. When you let go of guys who are hot and cold in their pursuit of you, you’re on your way to finding the right man for lasting love. by Frankie Cola When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. ... A couple years later we started emailing each other & she wanted to get together. It’s easy to overindulge in their little time passes probably because you still have lingering feelings towards your ex. As … Needless to say, the breakup leaves you heartbroken and devastated. Plus, my ex and I had already established what we like with each other, so the sex rarely disappoints." My reason was that we were too far from each other and that my parents did not agree to the relationship. Do you love her? Every relationship ends differently and there is no strict rulebook to follow when it comes to dealing with an ex contacting you years later. 1 Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. When you say you fear your ex will retaliate in anger, if you mean literally try to hurt or damage you, then please do not contact him. He sent texts, letters, roses, and initiated countless … We were together for ten years and broke up over 18 years ago. If you still have feelings for this ex of yours and is considering the prospect of getting back with the ex, don’t just jump into it. It doesn't mean you should be together, but that they are human and found the No contact just as unbearable as you did - … Interested In Reconnecting With An Ex After A Breakup? You shouldn’t apologize to an ex years later when you’ve both let go of the breakup already. He was the boyfriend I loved for three years until I met my dear husband whom I have been married to for 29 years. Closure takes time and sometimes wounds won’t heal with an explanation. we're both married... By Guest, 10 years ago on Dating. Turns out the woman he married after our relationship ended was very abusive towards him and controlled his life down to the … Anonymous. Here are 8 totally frustrating reasons why he randomly texts after months– either a breakup or complete disappearing act. Do you want to be Friends With Benefits because even though she was a terrible girlfriend but was a good lover? Instant replies hint at either interest or joblessness – and even though you might be both, don’t let your ex pick up on the hint. Each relationship has its own unique heartbreaking conclusion. 10 years ago. This past year we have stayed in contact by phone and email and he started to take it to a different level. … his family were my 2nd family. Today after 20 years, she is married with four kids and I married with three kids, I still have feelings for her. I decided to … The inevitable distance between two people in love, the restless neediness of love. we're both married. Dating An Older Man – The Ultimate List Of Dos and Don’ts, 12 Clear Signs You Are Infatuated And Not In Love, How To Make A Girl Laugh – 11 Failproof Secrets That Work Like A Charm, 15 Unwritten Rules Of Dating We All Should Follow, 10 Best Ways To Propose A Boy [He Will Say Yes For Sure]. Favorite Answer. He was a very controlling person who was jealous all the time. we have been on many holidays, rented together for a year, spent so much time together, had names for our children, bought a kitten together. It has been dragging on for about 8 weeks which is since the time we broke up. If your ex and you had a very on and off and then on-again kind of a relationship, do you think bringing that back into your life is a healthy decision? He might have had hard time in his marriage and it triggered past feelings and need to resolve those. Before you contact your ex, you need to have a general idea of where their head is at. Also, I need to emphasize that an ex-boyfriend who really cares about you and genuinely wants to get back together… Is willing to take baby steps towards working out your relationship problems and make a consistent effort in doing so. When an ex suddenly gets in touch with you out of the blue, it can be a confusing and frustrating situation. In fact, we give you eight reasons why you should block your ex right then. Unanticipated, unasked, over five years later. #2 They miss you. Think of your life right now. 15 reasons why being friends with your ex doesn’t work, Dating An Older Man In Your 20s – 15 Things To Seriously Think About. Do you like how your life looks without your ex? Maybe you have stalked your ex and it has been extremely painful? “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App. I am sure I still look like a dear in head lights, wide eyed and shocked. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for couples everywhere! If your ex hears you’re with someone new, they might text you just to scope them out and compare themselves to your new lover. You might know this from what you have heard from your mutual friends and also he tells you that he is a changed man. Image by Abdulmajeed . That way you lose your mental peace as well. #4 Something reminded them of you. This is the key. Is there a point? XH contacted me on facebook after 15 years wanting to be friends and reassuring me that he wouldn't ask why I left … How to deal with an Ex girlfriend that contacts you after 3 years of separation. I have this ex that contacts me every year or so. My ex of 32 years started cheating in our relationship a few months before he got up and left to live with a woman younger than him. Footi kismat and things didn't work out well. However, of all my ex-partners, he is the one I dream about the most. How should you respond? But before you type out on an elaborate text asking for an explanation, pause and think about your life right now. If you are surprised by the contact, but remain more curious than jittery, the contact really is out of the blue. Anonymous. She feels something compelling her to call you but she doesn’t know what it is and why it is persuading her to contact you. You have to weigh up what the worse case scenario is and if you can handle that. Here's what it all means and what you should do about it. The more you fear your ex, the more power you end up giving to him or her. He’s feeling down or lonely. If your relationship was a long-term relationship, it's not uncommon that folks remain friends. Developed and Maintained by Creative Brains. may be somehow he never got closure with you and one day mustered the courage to contact you. “It took everything, every ounce of courage and self-confidence to ignore his texts.” Ultimately, Glantz said she realized these texts were her ex’s way of keeping her in … I did the no contact rule for about a month that was until he was desperately trying to reach me and I did the mistake of answering. natsmum100 Sat 12-Jan-13 11:58:14. Ex boyfriend/girlfriend contacting you when you have moved past them are the biggest pain in the ass. How have you been?” Don’t overthink and conclude by yourself that the nasty text she sent to you while breaking up meant nothing and that she wants to get back together. I would have never thought it. But if you guys ended mutually but have somehow not kept in touch for these years, having a quick convo over Instagram is not a bad idea. She is emailing you because she is bored. My ex-boyfriend from high school contacted me after 40 years. My ex boyfriend was a college student at that time and was so into his schooling. Similar thing happened in my marriage last year when my wife’s ex from 20+ years ago found her on Facebook. Think of your life right now. What if the ex just wants to hook up and would want someone known rather than a stranger? That usually means nothing serious and your ex is looking for some companionship. 1.) 10 Answers. I have been divorced for 15 years … My girlfriend brings up her ex during intimate moments, 12 things to remember when you run into your ex. That was 20 years ago. We will talk about that in greater detail later on. Sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone one on your wavelength. Here are the 4 Golden Rules to remember when your ex contacts you: Golden Rule #1: Do Not Ignore Them. First he agrees to being friends, then he’s all over you as soon as he sees you, then later in the night he makes a booty call and when you turn him down he disappears! So, be a good human being and talk about it to your partner. Instead, you went out and rebuilt your life. We saw each other and are still attracted to each other so I thought why not. Your ex is an ex for a reason and giving them enough attention when your present life is as fulfilling as it can get is like living in Chennai during winter months: sad and soggy. 1. Is it fine to still be friends on social media after a breakup? My Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex, What Should I Do? As soon as you realize that you still care about your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you should try to let them know since there's a pretty high chance you… Why is she contacting me? Answer Save. With positivity. Although I will admit that we both have the odd what if moment. My ex-boyfriend from high school contacted me after 40 years. “It was tough because even though I was brokenhearted, I still got jitters when I saw his name pop up on my phone,” she said. He said he had been thinking about me all those years. If your relationship ending with your ex has left you in a therapist’s room with a bandaged wrist, it is wiser to leave the ex in the past. She wants you to think there is a possibility you too will get back together. This is an innocent reason to text an ex that doesn’t always have a deeper meaning. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. Before going down a path you have already gone down, voice what you want from this renewed relationship – be it any kind. Probably the best way to get a clear idea of how your ex feels about … Does she want us to get back together? A couple of years later he contacts me on Facebook just asking how I was. W hen I was 19, I had my first girlfriend. If you have been ghosted and in need of some closure from the ex, you will generally think a lot before replying. And think about it – if you remove all the arguments, quarrels, fights, disagreements between you two… All you … No matter how you guys ended things, try not to jump in to respond to the text immediately, even if it’s a lazy Saturday afternoon and your only entertainment is your cat licking her own fur. The Reasons Why An Ex Boyfriend May Contact You When He Has A New Girlfriend. Initially, he said he’d make more of an effort, but a week later, he said it wasn’t working for him. When an ex contacts you, you need to weigh the pros and cons practically. Your ex might be a changed person – more decency, less infidelity. If your only reason to respond to the text is to find some closure, it’s better to leave the text on seen. She wrote to us. Related Reading: Is it fine to still be friends on social media after a breakup? He apologized the first day and said he wanted to work things out but still being with the other woman, I didn’t accept of course. Is this still revelant? Like over this past weekend, I got a friend request from an ex-boyfriend I hadn’t seen in 15 years. If you mean he’ll likely just send a peeved email – well, maybe it’s still worth pursuing. The last thing you want them to think is that you are ignoring them because you are still upset about the breakup. He fired back with a litany of messages, which began with profanity and culminated in pleas. Flexy. The 3 D’s of getting contacted by an ex. How To React When Your Ex Contacts You. He broke off with me over text. 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